I dialed a number and got the following recording:** **

"I am not available right now, but

Thank you for caring enough to call.

I am making some changes in my life.

Please leave a message after the

Beep. If I do not return your call,

You are one of the changes."

**************************************************
Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.

He shoots his friend and kills him.

Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends!"

**************************************************
A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother."

Santa wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER."

**************************************************
What is the definition of Mistress?

Someone between the Mister and Mattress.

**************************************************
Husband asks, "Do you know the meaning of WIFE??*

"Without Information Fighting Everytime"

Wife replies, "No, It means, "With Idiot For Ever" !"*

**************************************************
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?*

Stress is when wife is pregnant,*

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,*

and Panic is when both are pregnant.*

**************************************************
A woman asks man who is traveling with six children,

"Are all these kids yours?"*

The man replies, "No, I work in a condom factory and these

are customer complaints".

**************************************************
A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident

and confidential?"*

Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that.

Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential."

**************************************************
Nominated as the best short joke this year...

A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.

Mom" he asked, "are these my brains?"

"Not yet," she replied.
Joke Joke
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NEW Added 7/10/13
1
He said to me . ... . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it
I said to him .... . . You wear pants don't you?

2
He said to me ... . ......... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
I said to him .. That's a good idea - you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but fart

3
He said to me. ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
I said to him . ..... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

4
He said to me. . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
I said to him . . . They already have boyfriends.

5
He said to me...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
I said to him. . .. A widow.

6
He said to me.... Why are married women heavier than single women?
I said to him .. . .. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed..Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
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